How to Make Your Own Paraffin Section in Ten Easy Steps (aka A Secret Recipe for French Toast)

What You’ll Need:

3 individuals (Persons E, A and J), 8 rubber bands, 1 bad orange, 12 eyes, 1 high-powered lens, 3 pairs of argyle socks, 1 can Ege Bamyasi, 2 cups of elbow macaroni, 1 backseat accordion, a willingness to experiment with facial hair, 5 popsicle sticks and 37 cotton swabs.

Remember: Have an adult present whenever using the oven or scissors.

Instructions:

1. Take Person A and mix gingerly with Person J. Stir thoroughly and let gel overnight.

2. Introduce Person E to Person J ... (+) expand

How to Make Your Own Paraffin Section in Ten Easy Steps (aka A Secret Recipe for French Toast)

What You’ll Need:

3 individuals (Persons E, A and J), 8 rubber bands, 1 bad orange, 12 eyes, 1 high-powered lens, 3 pairs of argyle socks, 1 can Ege Bamyasi, 2 cups of elbow macaroni, 1 backseat accordion, a willingness to experiment with facial hair, 5 popsicle sticks and 37 cotton swabs.

Remember: Have an adult present whenever using the oven or scissors.

Instructions:

1. Take Person A and mix gingerly with Person J. Stir thoroughly and let gel overnight.

2. Introduce Person E to Person J at Envirobrunch.

3. Place Person E and Person A in close proximity for 40 miles.

4. Allow improvisation to occur between Persons E, A and J. Include a typewriter, a record player, acoustic guitars and a cello.

5. After months of work with focus groups, songs should ensue.

6. Allow full public viewing of half-finished product (name: P.S.). Rinse and repeat.

7. Set P.S. into sterile environment for the specific purpose of transferring sound waves onto magnetic tape. Then convert into 1’s and 0’s for popular consumption.

8. Debut final product for throngs of her Majesty’s loyal subjects.

9. Refine product and again face the teeming masses.

10. Rest on your laurels, made fat by the fruits of your labor.

For more tips on how to make your own Paraffin Section, or to send pictures of you and your Paraffin Section, send an email to paraffinsection(at)gmail.com. (-) collapse