Tactics of narcissists after separation

When you finally managed to free yourself from the clutches of the narcissist, you were happy. You hoped to leave everything behind and lead a happy life without your ex. But you did not count on the narcissist. He will not accept the separation so easily. On the contrary: Now he will try to make your life hell, to manipulate and influence you. In doing so, he will resort to a variety of techniques that are meant to drive you to despair. In this article I would like to introduce you to some of the tactics used by narcissists after a breakup.

The narcissist cries after the breakup

If your ex(s) cries during your breakup talk and especially afterwards, you must not fall for his/her tears. He/she is now acting as if he/she is totally desperate and cannot live without you because he/she loves you so much. However, his behavior has nothing to do with love. This is a cold calculation to arouse your pity. He/she hopes that his/her tears will take you so much that you will return to him/her.

He/she ignores you after the breakup

It is very common that the narcissist suddenly treats you like air after you have broken up with him/her. Although you need to clarify something very important with him (for example, for your children), he does not answer your calls and messages. The problem is that he knows that it is extremely stressful for you. Without him having to do much about it, he nests in your thoughts and thus influences your life again. You give him power and control over you without being able to stop it.

He ignores the separation

When you break up with a narcissist, it is not uncommon for him not to take you seriously. He is so full of himself that he does not see the possibility that anyone would not like to be with him. He just sees your decision as a hysterical overreaction and thinks that you will change your mind in 2-3 hours and come back to him. Therefore, he just continues as if nothing happened.

The narcissist replaces you

This also happens again and again. When you separated from the narcissist, he was cut off from his source of constant attention and admiration. He needs to secure this again as soon as possible. So he looks for a new person who can satisfy his addiction. By the way, he also makes sure that he rubs it in your face as often as possible. He wants to punish you for escaping his control and leaving him.

Narcissist is happy

This follows on directly from the previous point. The narcissist wants to see you suffer. Therefore, he will do anything to appear happy. He must show you how little you meant to him. It is not necessary that he is actually happy. Especially if he has not found anyone who fulfills his needs, he is probably rather unhappy. However, he plays the good mood to the outside world in order to humiliate you through disinterest on the one hand and to hide his own “weakness” on the other.

He manipulates your friends

Your ex will most likely also try to manipulate your friends and family after the breakup and turn them against you. Through his/her behavior, he/she portrays himself/herself as a victim who was first mistreated by you and then left behind. He/she is so skilled at twisting the truth that even those who have known you for years suddenly doubt your portrayal. As a result, you suddenly feel abandoned by everyone. Out of loneliness, you yourself begin to doubt your memories, and you wonder if it was really that bad.

What does this knowledge bring you?

The first days and weeks after the breakup will be extremely hard for you. Therefore, it is extremely important that you know what to expect. Only then can you prepare yourself optimally for what is to come. You can seek timely support from your friends and family who will stand by you in difficult moments. They know you very well and therefore also know how they can best help you. Sometimes it is enough to talk about your sorrow, fears and worries. That takes a lot of pressure off your shoulders. In addition, you must not forget the following: If you prepare your friends and family for the manipulations of your ex, they will be much more resistant to them. It is therefore much more difficult for the narcissist to get them on his side.

Finally, I would like to give you an important tip: Never forget a narcissist’s greatest fear: being insignificant. Do not give him a chance to continue to influence your life. He will not be able to cope with this consequent rejection and will forcibly withdraw from you in order to protect himself.