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Jonathan Coulton

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I am a long time fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, a television show in which a human and his robot friends watch movies and make fun of them (it maybe is not a surprise to you that I like this sort of thing). Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, formerly of said show, now do this thing called Rifftrax - sort of an alternate audio track for movies that you can sync up as you watch, MST3K roll-your-own style. Imagine my delight when they invited me and Paul and Storm to record one of these for the movie TRON. I’ll wait while you imagine. Did you imagine me jumping up and down and peeing my pants? Because that’s what happened.


Now you can purchase this item! I am serious! This banner proves it (when you click on it)!


posted 1 month ago

At long last, here it is.


BEST. CONCERT. EVER.


A live DVD/CD super combo package, now available to you, the general public. It’s currently in pre-sales but discs will ship May 15th, and if you buy now you can download the mp3s immediately.

posted 1 month ago

If you’ve been listening to me on the Twitter this morning then you’ll be tired of this, but here’s the thing. I made a dumb joke referencing an aphorism I have heard: “all animals can swim.” Then I started wondering if that was true. A lot of people replied saying that great apes can’t swim, in particular chimpanzees. That didn’t sound right to me, or at least it sounded like one of those things that everybody says that nobody really knows if it’s true or not (kind of like “all animals can swim”).


So I asked again on the Twitter: for reals? Great apes can’t swim? A lot of people responded “yes they can” or “no they can’t” which wasn’t helpful. And a lot of links came in, a lot of conflicting information. This site says they have too little animal fat and so they sink. This person says they can outswim an olympic swimmer (human, presumably) and tantalizingly links to a video called “seemychimpswim” that no longer exists. According to The Big Zoo they can only swim “if extremely excited” (?). And here’s a story about a swimming orangutan. From what I can tell, it’s kind of “some chimps can swim but mostly they hate it and are not good at it.”


Or worse, it’s still an open question, which is a terrible thought. What the hell scientists? What are we doing here? Can we please start throwing some monkeys into pools and taking notes? IT IS 2009, SERIOUSLY!


Also, giraffes.

posted 1 month ago
biography
Jonathan Coulton's songs about vengeful nerds, ennui-afflicted clowns, self-loathing giant squids, and devotees of a certain Swedish prefab furniture store are insanely clever without ever being too clever for their own good. They repeatedly lure you into laughing before suddenly breaking your heart. And the sick part is, you keep coming back. Coulton's is the voice of every spooky elementary school kid who could never quite keep his shirt tucked in or shoes tied; every lovelorn mason and mad scientist; every one of us who has ever sat despairingly on the floor, surrounded by parts of an Ikea endtable, weeping over our allen wrenches.

In 2005-2006 he recorded and published a new song every week as a free podcast called Thing a Week. This rate of output wouldn't be so astonishing if the songs weren't so constently well-written and produced. A few of these songs have become full-fledged internet smashes: his folky cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back," a visual ode to Creative Commons called "Flickr," and of course "Code Monkey," the anthem of software designers everywhere. The office zombie song "Re: Your Brains" made the Dr. Demento Funny 25 countdown for 2006. But it's the ... (+) expand
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Legion of Fail wrote:
at 03 July 2009 10:48PM
Code Monkey like Fritos.
Boriss (level 6) wrote:
at 02 July 2009 1:37PM
Code monkey needs to grow a pair.
rbright (level 6) wrote:
at 02 July 2009 11:07AM
Nicely done!
oonanicole (level 1) wrote:
at 01 July 2009 7:24AM
awesome tunes...enjoying every one of them! :)
Aaron Huff wrote:
at 01 July 2009 4:14AM
OH GAWD I LOVE THIS MUSIC.
revelrecords (level 11) wrote:
at 29 June 2009 5:10PM
BRILLIANT - - maybe I just hate California!
Rissa (level 11) wrote:
at 26 June 2009 1:35PM
Presidents just isn't the same without "I don't like to make political statements" :-(
Wolffe (level 15) wrote:
at 26 June 2009 7:50AM
Too many songs!! I can't maxbump them all... :)
...but I'll have fun trying :D
Toy Horses wrote:
at 26 June 2009 6:38AM
Toy Horses like Jonathon Coulton. We sing Tom Cruise Crazy in the car.
jackottmar (level 1) wrote:
at 25 June 2009 12:52PM
Shop Vac makes me think of Malcolm in the Middle. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's definitely a thing. I. Like. Your. Stuff.
jpwalters (level 9) wrote:
at 25 June 2009 6:20AM
I must say, MST3K is probably the best thing ever. I have yet to experience Rifftrax though...Anyways, I'm a big fan.
Skeletonj (level 1) wrote:
at 25 June 2009 5:37AM
Hahaha...like it dude. SKJ
Slinger (level 14) wrote:
at 25 June 2009 4:44AM
Love your music and have thrown you some hearts. If you get a chance, give my featured songs a listen (ChordSlinger is my artist name).
Nandicu (level 12) wrote:
at 25 June 2009 2:27AM
I looove u and your music!
jaypl (level 6) wrote:
at 24 June 2009 7:16PM
wow -- I've never seen such an avalanche of songs taking over the 61! This is definitely Jonathan Coulton Day!
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